Once my brother was released from Greenwich Hospital on the 13th he went back to Greenwich Woods. I went everyday I could with my Mom. It was not the best of times. I wanted him to have a better outlook and to be more upbeat but he continued to be stubborn. I mean, I wanted him to take the medicine (lactulose) that they had for him to take and he would say “Sue, if you knew what that did to me you would not make me take it” my reply was “Tommy if you do not take it, you will die. Take the damn medicine.”
Tommy did not like me saying this and replied with “Susie, why are you so angry, there is too much contention here. Too much anger. I can’t have all this contention. We can’t be so contentious all the time.”
To that I said “What the hell does contentious mean?” while gritting my teeth…
On the afternoon of Monday December 17th we went to go and see Tommy again. He really wanted us to see him do physical therapy. He was so weakened that he need a lot of it. We followed him to the exercise room and we watched him. He looked so frail, almost skeletal. It was a physical struggle for him to lift both one and two-pound weights. They had him go for a walk around the first floor and while we waited.. I contemplated life. It was one of those moments where you sit there and go “WHY DID HE DO THIS TO HIMSELF” “WHY, WHY, WHY DEAR GOD WHY” and “WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO”
and as I waited for a divine answer, I received none. And when he came back into the room with his two physical therapists, I was felt two things. Love and Sadness. It was like a comedy and a tragedy.
Once physical therapy was done we made our way back to his room and he had to use the toilet he said. So his aide helped him. While he was there he had an episode.
I could hear him retching and I heard a commotion. I heard the words “seizure” “passed out” and “do we need to go to the hospital?”
They thought he was having a seizure. I waited with Mom in the Library that was next to his room. My heart beating out of my chest like a locomotive. It turned out that whatever discomfort he just went through had passed and they got him back into bed.
I got into the room as soon as they would let me and immediately was asking him are you ok? And he said “yes! I feel fine.”
So, we made plans to come back tomorrow and bring him nicer clothes and he said great “I want to you to do some errands for me and I can go over the details of what I want you to do tomorrow”.
With that I gave him a kiss on the forehead and told him “I love you” and he said “I love you too”.
I promised him that I would be less contentious (whatever that meant I had to go home and look it up) Mom did the same and we headed home.
